How is everyone? So much to think about, say and do, right? Managed to clear off a pile of clothes I'd been needing to do something with in the bedroom. Ridiculous that I don't get rid of old t-shirts when needed or things that don't fit - ugh! Mark told me not to over do and he prepared us pecan pancakes for breakfast and then went into cleaning mode! I ventured out for a quick errand and wanted to go to Wal-Mart, but my knee said no way! Mark just got back from walking Hanz and Bella and is fixing dinner - yay! I've got to go do my part and fold laundry. Can you believe it's Ash Wednesday next week? Our dear choir friend Terry Schneider is having a Mass for our Intention on Wed. @ St. Pauls in Fl. Bluff. @ 7pm.
Well, I have finally reached the point of having to make some changes in my life regarding how I take care of myself! I need to listen to my body and not my mind! I've been rebeling and in denial by not working with the Therabite. Well it got to where I can barely get my mouth open to put food in it (I know, I know ....) because I wasn't working with the Therabite - so I don't have a choice! Unfortunately, since I have a little paralysis on the left side, it's a little tricky to get it going, but it has already helped in just 2 days! Plus, I was always staying up as late as possible because I was enjoying what I was reading so much, but no more! When I drop the Nook or magazine, and my eyes start drooping - stop! I was trying to lead as normal a life as possible, but there is just no way with the horrid avm. I've had to take a step back and say it's ok to put the book down @ 10:30 p.m., instead of 1:00 a.m. I've been @ war with myself, refusing to give in to the fact that I can no longer function in a normal way! I don't know what I was thinking putting myself through staying up so late and not getting the rest I need in order to heal! I realized as well, that after that bleeding incident @ the restaurant, I was very "weak". I was b-a-r-e-l-y getting by as far as my work day. I recently told Celia about how I was feeling and she was the one that came up with the word "weak" - I had not even thought about it, but that is exactly the word I needed. Remember that poster of the kitten holding on to the knot @ the end of the rope? That was/is me!
First, a great day for me is no bleeding. Ahhhh, that is a fantastic day for me! Actually, I am having a slight problem related to that. I don't know whether it is fear that I may bleed, or psychosomatic (sp?) that I read in the hospital discharge papers that the patient may have a hard time breathing due to a possible blood clot in the lung? Every once in a while, I feel out of breath and I stop and take a deep breath and relax a few minutes. It's like I forget to breathe - I have to stop and tell myself to take in a deep breath.
Ok, so I get home after dealing with my work day, greet my babies that are super excited that Mommy is home .... get in my jammies and relax! Mark is usually home right before I am, so he gets out of his uniform, puts on some shorts and gets the kiddos ready for a good walk! While I'm napping, the kids are on their walk with Mark and he later comes in and starts getting our dinner ready. After dinner & watching TV, we try and get our things ready for the following day. I start getting sleepy and now I'm ready for bed right then! I used to ignore how I felt, thinking I could stay up (and would) until 1 or 2:00 a.m.! What was I thinking? Yikes!! I now go to sleep @ 10:00 or so and sometimes wake up @ 2:00 a.m. I'll read a few minutes and go back to sleep and maybe wake up @ 5:00 a.m. I'll read again a few minutes and drop back off to sleep until the alarm goes off @ 6:45 a.m. I am listening to what my body wants to do, due to medication or whatever.
I was due for a haircut a couple weeks ago, and told my hairdresser I needed something quick and easy! Nothing is going to make my avm look better and the least amount of time I spend in the shower the better! So now I have a cute, short cut that makes my life easier!
You know, a couple of my co-workers tell me they can't get over how cheerful I am, considering what I'm going through. I'm always in a good mood and trying to enjoy the day. One co-worker said I was remarkable. Well, I'd like to think that avm or not, I am a pretty happy person! None of that happened overnight of course, and it's not so much that I'm remarkable, but I surround myself with fantastic people! My support group is phenomenal! I've got prayers that give me the strength to endure my situation. From my amazing husband that tolerates me, cares for me, makes sure I have all my equipment/medical supplies. Our entire family contributes not only monetarily, but emotionally, and spiritiually! Having their support - and this means friends too! - enables me to carry on with my day! My friends always make sure I know they care - just by being in their thoughts and prayer and I get surprises sometimes like a cheery card/e-mail, or Starbucks gift card! All these things put a smile on my face and make this "hell" I'm going through a little easier! I must say that I never envisioned my sister Celia stepping up the way she has. She truly knows the meaning of being a good Christian and showing her love in so many ways. Celia is always busy taking care of something/someone, either helping her husband Greg with their business, doing something for the boys, or choir and friends. She still makes herself accessible to me/us whenever we have needed her. It is a huge help when she goes w/me on the trips to CO - but she gives something she has little of and that is time! Celia has found time to make sure I'm ok. Not only assuring me with words, but taking me to appts., picking me up after having a bleed, staying an extra Mass so that she can join us - just overall being there, giving up her time to help me! So, with everyones help, I can have some happy moments, knowing that I'm not alone while we wait for this avm to be overwith! I'll be seeing Dr Yakes again during the first week of May - yeah, I'll be spending my 50th birthday with my second family @ Swedish Medical Center!
Thanks again everyone for all your love and support! All of you together help me function in as close to "normal" way as possible! I still have so much to do - a lot of correspondense to catch up with! Take Care!
Love,
Cyndi
Well, I have finally reached the point of having to make some changes in my life regarding how I take care of myself! I need to listen to my body and not my mind! I've been rebeling and in denial by not working with the Therabite. Well it got to where I can barely get my mouth open to put food in it (I know, I know ....) because I wasn't working with the Therabite - so I don't have a choice! Unfortunately, since I have a little paralysis on the left side, it's a little tricky to get it going, but it has already helped in just 2 days! Plus, I was always staying up as late as possible because I was enjoying what I was reading so much, but no more! When I drop the Nook or magazine, and my eyes start drooping - stop! I was trying to lead as normal a life as possible, but there is just no way with the horrid avm. I've had to take a step back and say it's ok to put the book down @ 10:30 p.m., instead of 1:00 a.m. I've been @ war with myself, refusing to give in to the fact that I can no longer function in a normal way! I don't know what I was thinking putting myself through staying up so late and not getting the rest I need in order to heal! I realized as well, that after that bleeding incident @ the restaurant, I was very "weak". I was b-a-r-e-l-y getting by as far as my work day. I recently told Celia about how I was feeling and she was the one that came up with the word "weak" - I had not even thought about it, but that is exactly the word I needed. Remember that poster of the kitten holding on to the knot @ the end of the rope? That was/is me!
First, a great day for me is no bleeding. Ahhhh, that is a fantastic day for me! Actually, I am having a slight problem related to that. I don't know whether it is fear that I may bleed, or psychosomatic (sp?) that I read in the hospital discharge papers that the patient may have a hard time breathing due to a possible blood clot in the lung? Every once in a while, I feel out of breath and I stop and take a deep breath and relax a few minutes. It's like I forget to breathe - I have to stop and tell myself to take in a deep breath.
Ok, so I get home after dealing with my work day, greet my babies that are super excited that Mommy is home .... get in my jammies and relax! Mark is usually home right before I am, so he gets out of his uniform, puts on some shorts and gets the kiddos ready for a good walk! While I'm napping, the kids are on their walk with Mark and he later comes in and starts getting our dinner ready. After dinner & watching TV, we try and get our things ready for the following day. I start getting sleepy and now I'm ready for bed right then! I used to ignore how I felt, thinking I could stay up (and would) until 1 or 2:00 a.m.! What was I thinking? Yikes!! I now go to sleep @ 10:00 or so and sometimes wake up @ 2:00 a.m. I'll read a few minutes and go back to sleep and maybe wake up @ 5:00 a.m. I'll read again a few minutes and drop back off to sleep until the alarm goes off @ 6:45 a.m. I am listening to what my body wants to do, due to medication or whatever.
I was due for a haircut a couple weeks ago, and told my hairdresser I needed something quick and easy! Nothing is going to make my avm look better and the least amount of time I spend in the shower the better! So now I have a cute, short cut that makes my life easier!
You know, a couple of my co-workers tell me they can't get over how cheerful I am, considering what I'm going through. I'm always in a good mood and trying to enjoy the day. One co-worker said I was remarkable. Well, I'd like to think that avm or not, I am a pretty happy person! None of that happened overnight of course, and it's not so much that I'm remarkable, but I surround myself with fantastic people! My support group is phenomenal! I've got prayers that give me the strength to endure my situation. From my amazing husband that tolerates me, cares for me, makes sure I have all my equipment/medical supplies. Our entire family contributes not only monetarily, but emotionally, and spiritiually! Having their support - and this means friends too! - enables me to carry on with my day! My friends always make sure I know they care - just by being in their thoughts and prayer and I get surprises sometimes like a cheery card/e-mail, or Starbucks gift card! All these things put a smile on my face and make this "hell" I'm going through a little easier! I must say that I never envisioned my sister Celia stepping up the way she has. She truly knows the meaning of being a good Christian and showing her love in so many ways. Celia is always busy taking care of something/someone, either helping her husband Greg with their business, doing something for the boys, or choir and friends. She still makes herself accessible to me/us whenever we have needed her. It is a huge help when she goes w/me on the trips to CO - but she gives something she has little of and that is time! Celia has found time to make sure I'm ok. Not only assuring me with words, but taking me to appts., picking me up after having a bleed, staying an extra Mass so that she can join us - just overall being there, giving up her time to help me! So, with everyones help, I can have some happy moments, knowing that I'm not alone while we wait for this avm to be overwith! I'll be seeing Dr Yakes again during the first week of May - yeah, I'll be spending my 50th birthday with my second family @ Swedish Medical Center!
Thanks again everyone for all your love and support! All of you together help me function in as close to "normal" way as possible! I still have so much to do - a lot of correspondense to catch up with! Take Care!
Love,
Cyndi
I'm putting in some photos that you may have seen before, but I just haven't had time to take any new ones! Oh! Took Hanz and Bella to Petsmart yesterday and Hanz weighed in @ 12.8 lbs. and Bella weighed in @ ..... drumroll please ..... 12.6lbs! Yikes! Hanz is 2 and Bella is 5 months old!
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