Bloody Monday

Hello to all!

Thanks for checking in with me, I really appreciate it! So much always going on! Last week Mark had taken time off work, so I had really enjoyed having him home - so many honey-do's for him! It was nice having Mark and Hanz drive me to work and then both of them picking me up in the afternoon!

Our shower is finally finished, so no more walking to the back garage apt. to get cleaned up! So happy about that! We both started our week off a little sad that Mark had to go back to work and that Hanz wouldn't have Mark to play with any more during the day! Marks van has been needing some work, so he's been dropping me off @ work in my car first and then heading on to his job! I have to say that I've really enjoyed that extra time we get to spend together in the morning! It's especially nice for me on Mondays, since that is Jury Duty day @ the Courthouse and parking is horrid!! My co-worker Kathy had been off almost 2 weeks and she was returning back on Monday as well. In the early afternoon I was having a conversation with Kathy, when she goes, "You are bleeding from your wound a lot"! I immediately go to a nearby mirror to look, and sure enough! My wound dressing is completely red with blood that is running down my neck! I grabbed a couple of napkins from my desk drawer, bent down to get my wound care bag, and asked Kathy to call our co-worker Diana! I rush to the bathroom and removed the paper towels I was holding to my face, so I can see where the blood is coming from. I have to remove the dressing and could see where I was bleeding from! By the time I did that, my friend Diana was knocking on the bathroom door. I let her in and locked it behind her. We stood there as I held a wet paper towel to the area I was bleeding from, trying to get it to stop. The area really looked gross - ugh! Mark had put a new dressing on it the night before, so there was a lot of Silvasorb Antimicrobial wound gel on there. I had been feeling pretty rotten all day long - I've been fighting an ear infection for a while and I had been in pain! When I originally started feeling like I had an infection, I had called up to CO to get an antibiotic prescribed. I got some Augmentin and that seemed to be working. When I went to wound care, they took a culture of the goop in my ear and sent the results to Dr. Zane - ENT, and he switched me to Bactrim to get rid of the infection. Well, after a few days on Bactrim, I was feeling pain again, so I wanted to go back to the Augmentin! I called Dr. Zanes office and got him to ok changing me back to taking the Augmentin! Unfortunately, I started feeling pain again that was soooo bad! It felt like someone was jabbing a sharp pencil in my ear - yikes! I had been writing earlier @ work and got one of those pains and just dropped the pen from the severity of the pain I was feeling! Back to Diana and I in the bathroom ... I called Mark and told him what was going on. Told him I wanted him to come and get me and take me home! Mark knows I usually tough out any bleeds I've had @ work, as does my supervisor - so both knew when I said I wanted to go home, I must be feeling pretty darned bad! Went home and got in bed!

Today I was hoping to feel better, but I was in pain most of the day! It wasn't until about 7pm that I started feeling better! Whew! I was in so much pain earlier, it felt like my ear was on fire! Mark said if I wasn't better soon, that we would go to the ER and get me admitted to the hospital! I was ready to take him up on that too! I hate the thought of being in the hospital and needing IV Antibiotics because the worst part of that would be how much I would miss our baby Hanz! Sunday Hanz tried out his playpen that we got him @ Once Upon A Child - a resale shop w/infant wear, toys, etc.! Our family all got together after Mass on Sunday @ Moms, so Hanz tried out the playpen! Mom was pretty excited about it, since Vicente isn't crazy about Hanz running around inside their house! Mom goes, "Look, I think he likes it in there"! I told her, "Of course he doesn't like it, YOU like it, but he sure doesn't"! See photos! Our nephew Davis was visiting from A&M Galveston! It was so great to see him - he's so handsome!

Allrighty then! Just thought I'd fill you in on the latest! Unfortunately, what with having so much pain, it's kept me from doing the Therabite! The last thing I wanted to do was the Therabite when I was hurting so badly!

I've got to hang up some clothes that I have in the washer! I had bled all over a new polo shirt on Monday! We are currently using Resolve to remove blood stains and that seems to be working well! Any other suggestions?

I still need to take a shower and iron my clothes for tomorrow! Mark has to change out my wound dressing as well! He is so amazing as my wound care person @ home! Mark is extremely patient and does an awesome job!

Thanks for checking in on us - I always wanted to keep you posted on the latest fun on having an AVM! Actually I'm pretty much @ the end of my rope! I've told Mark that I'm ready to have the stupid trach, and if I bleed to death then so be it! I say that, because I'm very concerned about the big vein I have in front of my neck! I fell that if I have a trach, that vein will really give us trouble! Dr. Reed (Head of Voice & Swallow in Denver) has always said we could get around it, but I can't help but think that there will be massive bleeding from that area! Plus, then we'd have to deal with cleaning the area and make sure it doesn't get infected ...! I just don't need another thing to worry about, you know? Isn't it enough that I have had the wound dressing almost 2 years?! I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle! I can't help but picture myself trying to climb a mountain, and every time I reach up to climb higher, someone up there kicks me back down from reaching any higher! I'm just tired of feeling rotten and tired of fighting and having one obstacle after another to overcome! I'm not saying I'm giving up, but it sure is hard to keep fighting! Take care y'all and don't take your health for granted! Love to all of you!

Cyndi

P.S. I thought I was doing better as far as the pain in my ear, but nope! I am sooo tired of the piercing pain, that I made a doctors appt. for tomorrow - my primary care physician is on vacation, so I'll see another doctor in his group. No telling whether they'll decide to put me in the hospital for IV Antibiotics - I'm sooo desperate for relief, that I'm willing to go there, as much as I hate the thought of an IV and of being in the hospital! Why? Well, first of all, that would take me away from my baby Hanz for several days! Sniff, sniff!!! Also, that means Mark works all day, then goes home for a quick change and then he comes to spend time w/me in the hospital! I don't want him doing that, because then poor Hanz will be Home Alone! Mom said she would spend time with me in the hospital. I love the idea of just sleeping and reading and feeling better though! I'll try and keep y'all posted!